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I’m in a serious relationship with my best friend. He says that I’m the only girl he thinks about and cares about, but I’ve noticed him checking out other girls. Is it normal for guys to check out other girls even if they’re in a serious relationship? Does this mean he’s going to cheat on me? Why else would he look at them if he didn’t want to be with them? Help!!!!!

Assuming that he is totes into you, it’s still entirely normal for him to check out other girls. Ever since Grog caught a glimpse of Ug in her hot new leopard pelt as she bent over to cook that night’s sabre-tooth tiger steak, men have been, and always will be, visual creatures . And not only are men aroused by images more easily than women are, but we seem to be more sexually driven than women are. It’s a romantic notion to imagine a guy who shields his eyes from anyone but you, but such a guy is about as rare as Bigfoot.

Because it’s so typical, the fact that he looks at other women from time to time does not mean that he will cheat on you. Furthermore, trying to get an otherwise good guy to repress his natural instincts might only push him farther away.

However there is, of course, a fine line between “checking out” and “creepily oggling” other ladies. A quick glance at a bikini-clad babe passing by is one thing, but a prolonged staring session with your best friend is another. The point is that while you should cut his gazing some slack, he should also be showing some respect in your presence, appreciating you for the hot babe you are. If he can’t keep it classy, it’s time for a serious discussion.

@Navi, Simply tell him what celebrities you find attractive, give him the taste of the old medicine.If he is aright with you saying that then you should be too but if not then you might need to face him about it.

My newly divorced bf (I’m his first since!) talks often about younger women, how he might get them; whether he wants more kids with a young woman (he’s 55!); tells me that women flirt with him, and he checks out women whenever we’re in public. He’s affluent and decent looking, but he’s as stingy as I’ve ever seen a man be! He has been a serial monogamist all his life, and I’m pretty good looking for our age group and I have developed some skills in bed he claims to have never before experienced. (Not saying much since I have more experience than he does!)

But the reader above who said a man who blatantly looks at (all) other good-looking women is selfish has hit the nail on the head: my guy IS selfish. He interrupts me when I’m speaking; forgets personal things I’ve told him; doesn’t ask me questions about anything I tell him about my life; seems dependent and loving and the next minute, scares himself into putting distance between us. Talks more about his yacht than his kids. Talks more about his life before his marriage – 17 years ago! And has 0 ability to be romantic. I’m starting (after 6 weeks) to get glimpses of why his wife dumped him.

I just think its disrespectful to stare one thing is to glance but if I catch him doimg it he’s obviously staring ill catch my bf looking straight at there asses its embarrasing I feel like shit when he does that :/

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Boyfriendsweb.com is a comprehensive source for teens and their parents, teachers and friends. The site contains tips, advice from experts, and informative articles on healthy relationships and a healthy you.

“Boyfriends should be required viewing in every high school in America. The stories--told by young people themselves--are educational, sobering, and pack a powerful punch.”

– Bill Albert, The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy

“Producer Sujata Dand approaches her participants with artful openness and without judgment--each has her story to tell; each has learned lessons from which we can all benefit.”

– Dr. Susan Sugerman, MD, MPH, Girls to Women Health and Wellness.

1. Regardless of his height, he is comfortable with the way he looks around you. You don’t have to date a guy who is taller than most, but he can’t be someone who is threatened to be seen with you.

2. He genuinely makes you laugh (because he is funny, not because you think he is attractive and want to flatter him), and not a self-conscious little giggle, either. He makes you belly laugh and choke on your own laughter and tear up with laughter and laugh so hard you think you’re going to pee yourself.

4. He remembers little things about you, even things that other people might consider unimportant or too minor. He knows what your favorite dish at the Thai place is. He knows what movie you two watched on your first date. He knows the blanket you love to curl up with when you’re reading.

7. You always feel welcome around his friends, even if they aren’t the people that you would hang out with every day, and they are always friendly and open to you. There is never a point at which you feel like there is “your boyfriend” and then “the person he is around his friends.”

9. He does not cheat on you, would never cheat on you, and doesn’t even give the vague, nagging suspicion that he might cheat on you at some point in the future. Regardless of the problems you may encounter, being betrayed like is simply not a possibility.

10. His vision of the future is very similar to yours, or at least is flexible enough to adjust to what you both may end up wanting. (Wasting time with someone who does not want what you want, and never will, is unfair to both of you.)

12. With him you are comfortable both going out together and spending time separately with your individual groups of friends — there is no need to be constantly joined at the hip, for fear that he may stray or any other reason.

13. He is willing to consider long-distance if it has to be done for a certain period of time, but at least ultimately has plans to be near you (because no matter how good it is, long-distance can’t last forever).

Ferris : Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.

Ferris : Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.

Cameron : You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.

Simone : Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

Ferris : Oh, I'm sorry. I can't come to the door right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences. You can reach my parents at their places of business. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. Have a nice day!

Cameron : I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.

Ferris : The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.

Cameron : He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'LL GO. Shit.

Men look at other women and it’s perfectly normal. However, many women feel uncomfortable and start fuming (read: steam billowing out of their ears) when they see their lover eye-balling a younger woman wearing a tight dress or bust them looking at the most ridiculously-themed porn. Have you seen some of that stuff? It’s seriously hilarious and I know you know what I’m talking about.

1. See it for what it is.
I think that the base cause of the feelings of discomfort for women when their partners look at other ladies can be insecurity and it’s really a pointless waste of your precious energy. From personal experience I can honestly say there have been times that my blood wanted to boil when I caught my partner mentally undressing a random woman in a restaurant, supermarket or in the post office. But the biological essence of the situation is that it means nothing. Literally nothing. It’s a fleeting surge that happens within the mind of the man and doesn’t mean he’s going to spontaneously sweep the attractive stranger off her feet and run away with her.

2. Jealousy is not very pretty.
Some men are better than others when it comes to taking a sneaky peek at a hottie. I know if I was a man I’d be pretty good at it I think. I’m pretty good at it now when I check out a man I find attractive.

The key point to remember here is that it’s about feeling worthy within yourself and not letting jealously rattle your cage. By comparing yourself to the woman you bust your partner looking at can be really upsetting and damaging to your
self-esteem if you let it.

3. Transform your fear into trust.
Just remember that it’s not an opportunity to question the special nature of your relationship or question your own unique attractiveness. Fear always attracts more fear so make sure that you approach any issues that make you feel
awkward with a sense of calm when you feel it’s necessary to discuss this with your partner.

4. Invite your partner to channel the sexual energy towards you.
I opened a discussion to my boyfriend recently about this tpic as he felt slightly uncomfortable expressing to me that he indeed feels attracted to other women. I told him that this falls into the category of his own private conversation with the Universe and I don’t need to know everything. I also told him that the way I intend to view the situation is that I’m the lucky lady that gets to have all of that energy channelled into me (if you catch my drift) in the privacy and sanctity of our relationship.

5. Allow yourself to shine.
I’ve spent way too much of my life not feeling worthy and choosing to get grumpy over stupid, insignificant stuff. But I’m choosing NOW to be the best time ever to celebrate my own sexiness, my own beauty and my own ability to intend that I feel secure in all situations that arise. The key is alignment and moving away from fear based sense of false competition to allow the essence of our glorious expression as women to shine!

Sarah Prout is a bestselling author, co-founder of the Adventures In Manifesting series, entrepreneur, publisher and mumma of 2 little darlings. She reaches over 55,000 followers in over 24 countries around the globe with heartfelt, vibrant and empowering advice about love, business and style. Visit: SarahProut.com .

Being a good boyfriend isn't always easy, even if you have an amazing girlfriend. A good boyfriend knows when to talk, and when to listen; when to offer advice, and when to offer sympathy; when to shower her with attention, and when to give her some space. You need to be someone she can trust and admire, and even someone who makes her want to be a better girlfriend. [1] A good boyfriend adapts to the situation, and knows the job is never finished. [2]

Relationship research is always moving forward, and this post—the first and most popular at Love Science—is updated per new data from paramount Lost Lovers researcher  Dr. Nancy Kalish .   Fascinating new details are here, but they only strengthen the core message:  Unless you’re single, divorced or widowed—don’t look up that old flame on Facebook.   

  In her book Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romance , Kalish reveals that 76% of pre-internet and 78% of first-love re-connections in Phase 1 culminated in happy marriages—sex beyond compare, highs that seem to last forever, baby-talk that ruins other people’s digestion.  Their later divorce rate is under 2%!  Talk about a path to wedded bliss. 

What Happened?!?  Technology collided with marital status and Good Intentions.   Over 2/3 of Phase 1, pre-internet folks were SINGLE and thus available when they asked friends and family for so-and-so’s phone number; it’s a bit daunting to intentionally find an old flame if you’re still wed and you’ve got to ask her daddy for her digits.  On the other hand, as Kalish wrote to me, by the mid-2000’s, “People were just surfing the internet, and what could be the harm of sending an email?  It’s private, and seems safe.”

Except that if you’re married—as 2/3 of the Phase 2 interviewees were when they hit “send”—the road to hell really is paved with Good Intentions.  Affairs are the *normal* result of these reconnections; 62% of the married folks wound up having an affair…yet they didn’t begin the contact with any such plan. 

And what then?  Partly because both parties rarely exit existing marriages, the most common endings are zero contact with the former lover, or a continued sexual affair.  Emotional aftermath includes fractured, confused lives…lives that were rolling along just fine until an innocent email derailed their stability.     

Flatly put: It’s dangerous to reconnect with an old flame, even—perhaps particularly—if you are happily married and are merely curious about how things turned out for your first love; and it’s foolhardy to casually encourage your spouse to look up their former sweetie. Social networking sites make it simple to follow an idle curiosity about how so-and-so is doing, and Facebook is invaluable for reconnecting. But it would appear that there are wise limits for friending.  

@Monica, Yes, you're right--it definitely matters what the connection was like the first time around. Just about everyone has people from the past whom they cared about or even loved, but most of those folks would not pose a threat to a marriage. Kalish's research primarily deals with people who fit a very particular profile...you can see it here at another Love Science column called "When First Love Is True Love":http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/love-science-media/when-first-love-is-true-love-re-igniting-the-old-flame.html?SSScrollPosition=368

Basically, about 1/4 of adults in Kalish's study--and perhaps across America and other Westernized nations, given her data set's extensiveness-- have a Lost Lover who fits the profile for both of these Love Science articles: Someone we loved when very young (usually under age 17; under 22 the vast marjority of the time), from whom we were separated for reasons *other than* incompatibility. Very common reasons for separation are parental interference (#1 reason), or a military or other move. Basically, these are Interrupted Loves that were between two young, compatible people. They weren't puppy loves--just real love, really young.

The fact of the matter is, your boyfriend thinks you’re beautiful no matter what. However, you may be in the mood to spice up your look and just to try something different to make your special man see your beauty in a new light. If you want to look beautiful for your boyfriend, then you have to take care of your outward appearance as well as your attitude.

Anybody can say they love Jesus, or that they're a Christian, for that matter. But when you've got stars in your eyes and love is filling your heart, how do you know if the object of your affection is the real deal or not? The Bible doesn't talk about the kind of dating relationships we see today; in fact, the only romantic relationships written in the Bible's history are either marriage relationships or adulterous relationships. Does this mean that there's nothing to learn about dating from the Bible? Actually, there's a lot we can figure out about what a boyfriend should be, based upon these real stories.

First and foremost, a Christian boyfriend should be a man you plan to marry—or at least someone who would make a good Christian husband. You want to look for someone who is serious about God and serious about his relationship with you. He isn't going to be a guy who just dates girls for fun; he has marriage in mind, too. You're so much more than just a "fun date"!

The Bible is full of verses that describe what a Christian man should be like. If you were going to make a "wish list" for a potential husband, this would be an excellent place to start. To fall in love with someone and then discover he is not spiritually qualified to be your mate is to invite heartache and put yourself in a very challenging place.

Keep in mind that nobody is perfect, and no one can meet every criterion that God has laid out for us (Romans 3:23). We can't expect everyone to meet a standard we could never meet ourselves. That said, a Christian boyfriend should still be willing to listen to God and follow His will for his life, even if he struggles in some areas.

Humble and teachable: The Bible says that a righteous man, or a wise man, will take instruction gladly, even when it's painful to hear (Psalm 141:5; Proverbs 9:9; 12:15). A righteous man shows a willingness to be corrected by Scripture. He'll also have a tendency to love and listen to those who can teach him from the Bible.

Honest: The tired old phrase "actions speak louder than words" still holds true. Do his actions agree with his words? Do his promises have integrity? The Bible says that a righteous man is characterized by honesty in his personal relationships and professional situations (Ephesians 4:28). When he makes a promise, he keeps his promise—even when it hurts (Psalm 15:2-5).

Selfless: The Bible speaks specifically to husbands in Ephesians 5:25-28, telling them to love their wives as they love their own bodies, just like Christ loved the church and gave His life for her. A Christian boyfriend should begin to exhibit this kind of care and love for his girlfriend long before he even talks about marriage. Love is easy at the beginning of a relationship, but a Christian boyfriend should be the kind of man whose behavior and intentions will be loving no matter what (1 John 3:18).

Ready and willing to provide: First Timothy 5:8 says, "A man who doesn't provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever." Now, provision doesn't necessarily mean "bring in a huge paycheck." The real provision comes from taking responsibility for the welfare of his wife and children. Did you catch that? A Christian man will take responsibility for those whom God puts in his care. A man who has no desire to provide is very hard to respect, and if a wife has a hard time respecting her husband, their problems will only get worse. A woman's respect for her man and a man's love for his wife must both be present in order to make a relationship work (Ephesians 5:25-32).

Se has a wife and rena, What the hell are you thinking! Don’t run after a married man. He has a wife and 2 children! Come on..that is wrong. Get your head on straight. He doesn’t want you for keeps.

 

 

 

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